48 hours with the twins
We are, to most British people, 'pikeys', which roughly translates as common plebeians who lie, embezzle and thieve their way through life. In contrast, to the average New Yorker we're a delightful pair of English girls who work for a top British fashion magazine and are out on the town snapping the young and beautiful in the run up to fashion week. Amazing what an English accent, big, batting eyes and a little red wine can do to the average American's judgment. So - poor and desperate for free drinks, Piu-piu and I headed out to The Hudson Bar with some cameras and lied to the general public in order to snap them when inebriated, and contribute to their drinks tab.
Do you recognize this delightful couple soon to be married? If so, do pass on our best wishes and thanks for the free drinks that evening. Sadly, they won't be appearing in British Vogue as we convinced them, but... they get to be on a stripper's blog instead! How's that for compensation?
Or what about these two young raconteurs with a peculiar fondness for bad cocktails, and a willingness to be led onto the dance floor and indulge in some seventies moves? (Thanks for the offer of dinner boys, but quite frankly, neither of us can be bothered)
And then of course, there's Mr Who-ate-all-the-pies
A camel Gap jacket and American Apparel T? No wonder you're looking to the heavens young sir, caught on camera wearing the worst of mass-produced trash in The Hudson no less....
We found this small social experiment worked particularly well, and even joined, briefly, one of the owners of The Hudson Hotel at his private table, before he was led away to be inebriated far from the prying eyes of the English 'Press'. The next day the excessive drinking continued - In my workplace with a pair of Vivid Films Porn Producers desperate for me to write a porn film ('We're really on the lookout for plot'), my sister with some friends in the East Village. The Porn Producers tried to bribe me to go to Staten Island with them for a "party" - a gang bang and a camera up my ass on Staten fucking Island? Tempting - but no. At around 3.30am my sister stumbled out of a friend's apartment, and was kidnapped by two small hispanic children, who ostensibly 'took her home' (back to my apartment) and in the process cleaned her out of cash and credit cards. My sister wept and cleaned me out of milk and noodles, until this morning balance was restored by a wire of cash from her boyfriend in England. I could do with one of those, if anyone wants to oblige. Disabled, single and poor is bad for the temperament - and money always helps!
I'm looking forward to the return of the giggly Asians. I just hope Piu doesn't get kidnapped on the way to JFK.
And... Vote for Me! Or send me money! Rent due in 10 days and I've made 500 bucks of it - only 600 to go...
Do you recognize this delightful couple soon to be married? If so, do pass on our best wishes and thanks for the free drinks that evening. Sadly, they won't be appearing in British Vogue as we convinced them, but... they get to be on a stripper's blog instead! How's that for compensation?
Or what about these two young raconteurs with a peculiar fondness for bad cocktails, and a willingness to be led onto the dance floor and indulge in some seventies moves? (Thanks for the offer of dinner boys, but quite frankly, neither of us can be bothered)
And then of course, there's Mr Who-ate-all-the-pies
A camel Gap jacket and American Apparel T? No wonder you're looking to the heavens young sir, caught on camera wearing the worst of mass-produced trash in The Hudson no less....
We found this small social experiment worked particularly well, and even joined, briefly, one of the owners of The Hudson Hotel at his private table, before he was led away to be inebriated far from the prying eyes of the English 'Press'. The next day the excessive drinking continued - In my workplace with a pair of Vivid Films Porn Producers desperate for me to write a porn film ('We're really on the lookout for plot'), my sister with some friends in the East Village. The Porn Producers tried to bribe me to go to Staten Island with them for a "party" - a gang bang and a camera up my ass on Staten fucking Island? Tempting - but no. At around 3.30am my sister stumbled out of a friend's apartment, and was kidnapped by two small hispanic children, who ostensibly 'took her home' (back to my apartment) and in the process cleaned her out of cash and credit cards. My sister wept and cleaned me out of milk and noodles, until this morning balance was restored by a wire of cash from her boyfriend in England. I could do with one of those, if anyone wants to oblige. Disabled, single and poor is bad for the temperament - and money always helps!
I'm looking forward to the return of the giggly Asians. I just hope Piu doesn't get kidnapped on the way to JFK.
And... Vote for Me! Or send me money! Rent due in 10 days and I've made 500 bucks of it - only 600 to go...
MIMI IN NY | 4:14 AM |
