Funny

I used to be Lisa Vanderpump's Personal Chef in Fontvieille, Monaco when I was a wee thing of 23 working on Rich People's Private Yachts. Needless to say, those were the days when her adopted kid Max didn't resemble Lurch, and she had no immobile fluffy dogs. She did, however, harbor an obsession with pink, lilac, polar bears, carb-free fare and possess an extraordinary pillow collection.

Oh those were the happy, happy days of providing cheap, menial labor to the tax-free Mega-Rich. Lisa was an alright boss. It's funny how someone with an undeniably good heart - adopting a foster kid takes guts and love - didn't seem to see her staff as well, people. I doubt the lady even knew my name in three months of working for her and having daily arguments about why, precisely, it was impossible to make a creme brulee carb-free.